


Finding Dr. Right

by DarnItTumbleweed



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Abduction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crimes & Criminals, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Sexual Assault, Stalking, season three
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23767585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarnItTumbleweed/pseuds/DarnItTumbleweed
Summary: Y/N has always been unlucky in love. Her career as a mortician has scared most of her dates away. She's accepted that maybe she just isn't meant to find love. Y/N finds herself falling into the middle of an ongoing serial murder case being investigated by the BAU. She meets and gains a new federal babysitter by the name of Dr. Spencer Reid. Reid can't just can't seem to meet a girl under a normal circumstance. As their bond grows danger strikes as the unsub decides that Y/N is the next target. Reid is left helping Y/N clean up the pieces as she tries to move forward with her life.Season Three. Two Part Fic
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	Finding Dr. Right

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started as a smut prompt, but it grew into a massively long fic...so I split it into two parts. Hopefully it doesn't feel rushed...like I said...I had to split the original fic into two pieces. So anything that is missing will be hopefully filled in in the next chapter

She could admit that she’d never had much luck in relationships. She didn’t really understand just why she’d failed so much when it came to love, at least not at first. Without sounding too conceited, Y/N would like to say that she was attractive enough.

She worked out keeping up a regular cardio schedule at the gym and attending a yoga class she took on Wednesday nights. She kept a healthy diet…aside from the chocolate she indulged in when her time of the month hit. She regularly went to the doctor and the dentist to make sure her teeth and her body were in the best shape possible. Sure her day to day clothing might be purchased from thrift shops, but she really didn’t see the fuss in buying brand new clothing outside of her work responsibilities. She’d like to think the clothing she picked fit her well enough and complimented her body even if it was all bought at thrift stores and resell shops. She took great care in her appearance, wearing just the right amount of make up, not too little not too much. She kept her hair neat and made regular trips to the salon to have her hair styled. She kept her nails neat and trimmed. She didn’t think she smelled bad, she wore deodorant and wore just enough perfume.

She knew she wasn’t super model beautiful, but she liked to believe that she was pretty enough. She liked to think that she was dateable enough. There wasn’t something about her that just screamed undateable, was there? It felt like there might be.

She certainly felt as though she she was perfectly capable of dating and falling in love. So, why did any attempt at actually having a real relationship always fall apart? She couldn’t even get past the first date most of the time.

The answer to this question was simple. The answer was so simple that Y/N almost felt like a moron when she had realized it. Her career scared all of her possible suitors away. Her job always stopped any blossoming relationship from developing past a first date.

She’d had a few dates over the years, not just blind dates set up by her roommate either…she’d had no trouble getting herself dates…but the second guys realized just what Y/N did for a living, they ran.

Having to explain that she worked in a funeral home to her dates always turned out to be an awkward awful mess.

People made a ton of assumptions about her based off of her job. The first assumption being that she was depressed, she’d have to become depressed being surrounded by death all day…she was in fact not depressed at all. She considered herself to actually be a cheerful person. She might have a serious job where death was very much a present element, but she didn’t think her entire life was overshadowed by death and loss.

The second assumption was that she was a creep who was stuck in some kind of edgy goth phase that she should have left behind in high school…she’d have to be pretty creepy to want to touch dead bodies after all. This was also not true, or at least she didn’t think she was a creep. She hadn’t even had a goth phase for heavens sake; she’d always been kind of an overachieving nerd to be honest. Yes, she might touch dead bodies when she embalmed them, but it was just part of the job.

The third assumption of course was that there had to be something horribly wrong with her….touche….no her childhood hadn’t been a bed of roses and she still struggled a little bit now, but she didn’t the she was any more dysfunctional than anyone else.

No matter how many times she tried to explain to people just why she’d chosen to go into the funeral business they never actually listened nor did they understand. People were either uncomfortable with her job or they took some kind of morbid interest in what she did for a living treating her more like a freak show than a person. They were either afraid of they totally disrespected the seriousness of her career. Neither reaction was enjoyable for Y/N.

Her first dates always went to crap the second her career came up. She’d gotten accustomed to being asked at least a million questions by her date and being flat out insulted by the responses she received as she answered those questions.

Guys would always find a reason not to ask her on a second date once they realized just what she did for a living…sometimes they’d even find a reason to disappear mid-date.

She had gotten accustomed to her romantic life being a disaster. At times she worried that maybe it wasn’t just her career that kept her from finding love…maybe there was something wrong with her, Perhaps there some little horrible thing that she hadn’t noticed about herself that made her undateable…something that was obvious to every one else but her.

Her roommate Ruby had tried to reassure her that this wasn’t the case, it was just that men sucked sometimes her roommate had insisted. She was a catch, her roommate had insisted…she’d find Mr. Right eventually.

Y/N had tried so hard to believe that she would find love. Her roommate had even tried to help her out setting her up on so many blind dates she’d lost count. The result was always the same though. The guys dated thought she was a freak and couldn’t even begin to understand why she did what she did for a living.

Yes, she’d tried dating other people within her industry…she’d come to find though that when she went out on a date with another embalmer or a mortician that she had nothing in common with them aside from a shared profession. Or at least that was the feeling she’d gotten from the few dates she’d had with fellow morticians.

Y/N had reached her mid twenties and she’d sat back and watched her roommate cycle through a dozen boyfriends while Y/N remained as single as can be.

She’d begun to wonder if she was just destined to be single. She was in her mid twenties and she still hadn’t had a long term boyfriend. She’d barely been kissed, and she sure as hell hadn’t done anything beyond kissing. She felt that she was so horribly stunted socially.

To be honest she had given up on all possibility of finding Mr. Right. Maybe she was just meant to spend the rest of her life alone? Maybe not everyone was meant to find love?

To Y/N’s surprise Mr. Right had actually turned out to be a Dr. Right.

Dr. Spencer Reid hadn’t come into Y/N’s life under the most traditional of circumstances.

Y/N hadn’t thought much of it when the gifts had begun to appear on her car when she left work at night, roses, jewelry, and poems…then they’d started to appear at her apartment.

She’d assumed it was just someone playing a prank on her. Y/N had told herself it was probably one of her roommate’s ex prick boyfriends being a jerk taunting Y/N’s enteral singledom.

Y/N’s boss Hal however had been concerned when he’d noticed the gifts.

Y/N had tried not to roll her eyes as Hal spoke the older man’s wrinkled brow furrowed in concern his voice scratchy from many years spent smoking. “Haven’t ya heard the news Y/N? All those girls they found dead…they all worked in funeral homes, and they all looked a hell of a lot like you. The last girl that was found, one of her friends said that poor girl told her she felt like someone was watching her a few days before she disappeared. Don’t ya think it’s kind of strange you got this secret admirer out there when all these girls are disappearing and getting killed?”

Y/N tried to reassure Hal that he was overreacting. There was no connection between the murders and these presents she’d been receiving.

Hal could be so overprotective of her. Hal Abernathy’s family had owned the Abernathy Funeral Home for generations now. Hal had never married and had no children of his own, so in a lot of ways he’d taken Y/N under his wing, considered her a daughter and the one most likely to inherit his family business.

Y/N had appreciated Hal’s parental tendencies. She didn’t really have any family of her own…her parents had died when she was young and she was raised by a much older aunt who’d died soon after she’d turned nineteen. Y/N had been an only child, she really didn’t have any living relatives left. So, in a lot of ways Hal was really the only sense of family she knew.

He’d taken her under his wing professionally, nurturing her as she learned the ropes of the business. She’d apprenticed underneath him and had worked for him as an official employee for a few years now.

Y/N had spoken giving Hal’s meaty shoulder a pat as she tried to shrug off his concerns. “It’s nothing, it’s probably just some dumb prank. It’s probably one of Ruby’s exes screwing with me, making fun of my lack of a romantic life. Don’t worry about it.”

Hal hadn’t been having it though. “The FBI is investigating those murders…Came all the way out from Quantico to look into it…Detective Jenkins said he had to call em in for help on the count of the local pd not finding any leads on the case and the media making a fuss.”

Y/N had just shaken her head at this information. Hal and his old detective friend gossiped worse than a couple of teenage girls. “Quantico isn’t that far from here…I mean this is DC…If there’s some serial killer out there then its not that shocking that the FBI wants to get involved…shouldn’t Joe not be chatting with you about police business? I swear you two are worse than church ladies.”

“It’s shop talk…he mentioned it when I saw him for coffee yesterday. I didn’t ask, he provided the information…on a count of my line of work and all.” Hal had provided not minding Y/N’s slight scolding.

She’d cringed as Hal spoke again a heavy huff leaving his lips. “I’m calling Joe Jenkins about this whole gift business. It’s been going on for months now and it’s getting too weird. It’s something he needs to look into.”

Y/N had been hoping that Detective Jenkins would tell Hal that he was overreacting. It was just a prank. There was no reason to get all worked up and waste police resources on some dumbass ex of her roommate’s being obnoxious.

Y/N hadn’t been pleased when Hal had called her up to his office insisting “Some folks from the FBI wanna talk to you.”

She’d stared at the two agents standing in Hal’s office along with Detective Jenkins with a look of annoyance.

She’d been a bit shocked by their presence. They’d really come to speak to her because Hal was freaking out?

She’d been a bit taken back by the agents presence. Only one of the men standing in Hal’s office looked like what she’d imagined an FBI agent would look like.

The dark haired man wore a crisp black suit his hair neatly trimmed his expression stern. The man with him though, he didn’t look a thing like what she’d imagined an FBI agent should look like.

The man with him looked more like a librarian than an FBI agent. If she didn’t spot the gun strapped to his hip then she’d definitely think he should be sitting in a library somewhere. He was tall…far taller than her and slim too. He wasn’t wearing a crisp black suit like his companion. He was wearing a pair of slacks and a gray cardigan over a patterned dress shirt and tie. She could actually spot a pair of black converse on his feet; a fact that made him all the less federal agent-like. His hair was actually kind of shaggy, as though he was in desperate need of a trim. He seemed young. She’d been a bit dumbfounded as he’d been introduced as Dr. Reid. He seemed a bit too young to have a doctorate. He was kind of cute to be honest, she’d probably admire that fact more if she wasn’t so annoyed by the FBI being called in for this mess.

She’d had no shame in trying to explain to everyone that this was all just a giant overreaction. “This is ridiculous. This is probably just one of my roomate’s idiot ex boyfriend’s playing a cruel joke on me. Listen, I’m sorry you two had to drive all the way out here for nothing, but trust me. This whole case you’re all looking into has nothing to do with me. Like I said, I’m sure this is just someone being an ass playing a prank on me. It’s not really police business. I tried to tell Hal that everyone is just wasting their time focusing on this mess.”

The agents had both stared back at her a bit taken back by her rant.

The more stern looking agent who’d introduced himself as Agent Hotchner had been the one who’d finally spoken. “Your boss said that you found this necklace last night?”

Y/N frowned staring up at the necklace he was holding up, it having been placed in a clear evidence bag. It was a purple cameo hanging from a silver pendant. It had struck her as odd…not many people knew purple was her favorite color. Of course she hadn’t wanted to put too much thought into this fact…this was just some stupid prank after all.

“Yeah I found it hanging from a side mirror on my car. Like I said, it’s just probably someone screwing around with me…trying to freak me out. My rommate’s last ex wasn’t too fond of me. This seems right up his alley as far as dumbass pranks go.”

Agent Hotchner spoke again pulling a photograph out from the file he’d been holding. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple Miss. Y/L/N. This necklace you found…it looks like it may have belonged to Rachel Hanson. Rachel Hanson was found dead just last week.”

Y/N stared down at the photo a chill running down her spine the pretty young woman in the photo was wearing the exact same necklace Y/N had found hanging from her side mirror.

“How long have you been receiving these gifts Miss. Y/L/N?” Dr. Reid had finally spoken a small frown crossing his features as he stared from the photograph to Y/N’s shocked reaction.

Y/N frowned feeling lightheaded all the sudden, she couldn’t stop herself from taking a seat in a nearby chair as she spoke. “For about five months…I-I didn’t really focus very much on it. At first I thought it was my roommate screwing around with me, but she kept denying it…so then I just assumed it was one of her ex boyfriend’s playing a cruel joke…Like I said, her last boyfriend Hank…he had a mean sense of humor. So, I thought maybe he was just making fun of me…trying to creep me out. I-I didn’t think too much about it. I thought if I ignored it then whoever was doing this would get bored and move on. I thought it was just a prank.”

Agent Hotchner and Dr. Reid exchanged a glance Agent Hotchner being the one who spoke. “The first body was found right around five months ago….and the earrings Mr. Abernathy showed us Miss. Y/L/N found on the hood of car…they look like they may have belonged to Stacey Reynolds.”

Detective Jenkins finally spoke a frown crossing his features. “Do you think it’s possible this psychopath is killing these girls and then leaving their belongings as sick little love gifts for Y/N?”

Y/N felt bile rise in her throat Hal at least having the sense to shoot Detective Jenkins a dirty look having spotted Y/N’s reaction.

Dr. Reid spoke answering this question sending Y/N an apologetic glance. “It is possible…she does fit the victim type.”

Dr, Reid spoke to Y/N that apologetic look still in his gaze. “Have you recently had a bad break up? Maybe rejected a romantic partner? Or have you noticed anyone maybe behaving inappropriately towards you?”

Y/N shook her head the bile only rising further in her throat she feeling a little pathetic when she explained. “No, not at all. I don’t…I don’t really date. Most guys are turned off by what I do for a living, so my romantic life is pretty much nonexistent. I haven’t really had many relationships, certainly not enough for there to be a bad break up or a rejection. I’m usually the one being rejected.”

Agent Hotchner and Dr. Reid exchanged another glance it clear that neither of them had expected their serial murder case to take this turn. If anything they’d believed that their unsub was killing these women as a way to act out aggression on an ex or a past lover…they hadn’t expected this.

To be honest they’d only come to the funeral home because Detective Jenkins had mentioned Y/N fit the victim type. It was at least something to look into.

Now it seemed that things had gotten all the more intense as far as this case was going.

Reid was the one who spoke again. “It might be possible that whoever is leaving you these gifts is suffering from the delusion that you two do in fact share a relationship. This is classic love scorned stalking behavior…maybe a case of erotomania, judging by these letters and poems you’ve been left.”

“You think someone is stalking me? And…erotomania, what is that?”

Dr. Reid cleared his throat as he explained further. “Basically it’s a psychological disorder where the suffer has the delusion that another person is in love with them…usually a person of a higher status than them. They usually believe the object of their obsession has sent them affirmations of love through just a simple look or minor exchange…most suffers of erotomania are women…however, there have been occurrences of males suffering from this delusion. In the case of this unsub, we have suspicions it’s a male based on the sexual assault we’ve found in in the victims.”

Y/N paled at the mention of sexual assault. Reid apparently took notice of this giving her an apologetic look as she spoke up. “Unsub? How can you be sure that this is the case with this guy? I mean…how can you be so sure it’s this erotomania thing?”

He paused clearing his throat again before continuing to explain. “Unsub meaning Unidentified Subject….These poems and letters he’s been leaving you….they seem to be filled with romantic overtones…One of these letters mentions that the writer of this letter knew you loved them by the look in your eyes…which hints at erotomania…he may see leaving these gifts for you as a courtship.”

“Why kill these women then? What do they have to do with me? If this person is convinced they’re in love with me…why kill these women?” Y/N blurted out feeling sick to her stomach. This couldn’t be happening.

Y/N felt like she wanted to puke as Agent Hotchner looked her way looking as though he really didn’t want to voice this out loud. “These victims they all share a lot in common with you…same hair color same build…similar careers. The best guess is this unsub keeps them for a few days and as Dr. Reid stated, he sexually assaults them before eventually killing them. It might be possible that he considers the abduction of these women practice for what he really wants.”

Y/N finished his statement her heart racing in her chest she feeling so lightheaded she thought she might faint. “Me.”

Agent Hotchner nodded his head before he continued. “The killing of these women…it may be simply a byproduct of the abductions…Eventually these women become harder to subdue and they aren’t really his intended target, so he kills them.”

Y/N clasped her hands together her stomach churning as she spoke. “I can’t think of anyone who would do this. I mean…most of my dates cant wait to get away from me. Like I said my career freaks them out and I can’t get past a first date…I’m usually the one being rejected. I think I’d remember if I’d scorned someone…I mean isn’t that what you said, a love-scorned stalker.”

“It might not be as simple as that…this person might simply perceive an otherwise unremarkable insignificant interaction between the two of you as you rejecting them romantically….or they may simply be too socially inept to approach you to begin with. It’s possible you never had any romantic involvement with this person. This person might have just been an acquaintance or even a stranger, but their delusion has convinced them that the small interaction you shared was the beginning of a courtship and they may believe that your lack of acknowledgment of them is a rejection. These presents you’ve been receiving might be an attempt to woo you.” Dr. Reid explained his explanation not making Y/N feel any better.

Y/N had furrowed her brow the words sliding from her. “Why is their idea of wooing me giving me dead women’s jewelry? Is it supposed to be some kind of threat… some kind of hint at what they could do to me?”

“Perhaps…or it might just be a fetish thing, he may get off giving you this jewelry. The idea of you touching something from another victim might be…pleasurable for the unsub.” Reid provided Y/N only feeling more ill.

The words spilled from her her head spinning. “Oh, God…I wish I didn’t ask.”

She cringed as she spoke again having the feeling she wasn’t going to like the answer. “So, if I’m possibly the intended target, what happens now?”

From there it had been decided that Y/N needed someone to watch over her, a bodyguard of sorts to keep an eye on her until whoever was doing this was caught.

She’d been surprised as Agent Hotchner had spoken to Dr. Reid issuing an order to the younger man. “I think it’s best if you stay with Miss. Y/L/N and keep an eye on things, watch for anyone who might fit the profile.”

That had been that, Agent Hotchner had left Dr. Reid as Y/N’s personal federal babysitter. Y/N had been left feeling as though her entire world had turned upside down.

Hal had tried to send her home for the day. He’d thought the trauma of what had just been discovered would be too much for her.

Y/N had refused though. She’d decided to do what she always did when she was strained, pour herself into her work.

To her shock Dr. Reid had backed up her insistence on sticking to her normal routine. It was necessary he’d insisted. He needed to watch her in her day to day life so he could best observe the people she interacted with.

She had sighed as Dr. Reid had followed her to the embalming room. She stopped directly outside of the room speaking as she grabbed protective gear from a cabinet for them both handing Reid the blue disposable protective apron to place over his clothing and a protective mask and face shield.

She spoke as she spotted him staring down at the protective gear clear confusion in his eyes. “It’s standard safety procedure if you’re going to be in the backroom with me you’ll obviously be around me while I work…you have to protect yourself from the possibility of infectious disease…though that probably isn’t the case with this guy I’m prepping…but it’s better safe than sorry….not to mention there’s going to be some chemicals involved in the process which can be pretty nasty if they get on your clothing…I mean it’s not like you’re getting near what I’m doing, but like I said you’re going to be in the same room, It’s better safe than sorry.”

She spoke again as soon as they were both suited up with protective wear she pulling a hair tie from her wrist using it to tie her hair back into a bun of sorts before she placed a surgical cap over her hair. “There’s obviously no food or drink in the room. If you need to step out feel free to do so, no judgment from me…and if you’re going to puke please aim for the black trash can…not the sink.”

Y/N could admit she was pretty impressed as Reid spoke a hint of a smile evident in his eyes though she couldn’t see his lips behind the mask. “I don’t think I’m at risk of puking…I have seen my fair share of dead bodies unfortunately given my line of work. This is probably sadly less graphic than what I’m used to seeing.”

“Good point.” She remarked leading him into the room.

She nodded over to a stool in the corner of the room far enough away from her working space. “You can have a seat over there.”

She got to work flipping on the stereo to a classic rock station the music playing low enough to at least fill any of the silence she was usually forced to endure while she worked.

She kept her focus on prepping the deceased elderly man on her table doing all she could to pretend as though her entire life hadn’t been flipped upside down less than an hour ago.

She couldn’t believe it, she was seriously being stalked? Some madman was out there abducting and killing women because he had some sick obsession with her. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

She did all she could to hyperfocus on her current task knowing that all she could do right now was focus on her work. The work she was doing was under her control even if every other aspect of her life seemed to be out of her control at the moment.

Y/N found herself occasionally glancing up at Dr. Reid surprised to see the man didn’t seem to be disgusted by what she was doing. If anything he seemed to be watching her curiously his eyes not filled with disgust or discomfort.

She was relieved that any curiosity he was currently presenting didn’t seem to be on the morbid side of things. She truly wasn’t in the mood to deal with having to scold a federal agent that he needed to respect the deceased and that what she was doing wasn’t to satisfy any sick sense of curiosity he might have.

If anything his curiosity felt more as though he was fascinated from a learning perspective more than anything. It almost made her think of how she had watched Hal when she’d first begun to apprentice at the funeral home.

She turned back to the body her stomach turning as her brain tried to turn back to the entire mess she’d found herself in.

Had this nutcase really killed those women because they looked like her? Was he seriously leaving her pieces of his jewelry as presents to woo her like Reid seemed to believe? Or was it some sort of disgusting taunt? A gift of his trophys from his killings, gifts that made her skin crawl.

She felt the words leave her lips unable to stop herself from voicing all of this outloud. “I just can’t believe this is happening to me. I-I really can’t believe some nutball is out there doing all of this because of me.”

Reid spoke up taking her by surprise as he gave her a statistic. “It happens more often than you think…stalking does. 1.4 million people are actually stalked annually. One in tweleve women will deal with a stalker in their lifetime. Less than 2% of stalking cases actually result in homicide.”

He paused clearing his throat as he spotted the look on her face. It quickly hit him that his statistics weren’t exactly comforting. “I’m sorry.”

Y/N let out a soft sigh shaking her head as she spoke again. “It’s fine…I know you didn’t mean to make me feel worse.”

She let out a heavy sigh shaking her head. “I just really can’t believe this is happening. It feels like a nightmare. It’s a sick irony really…I spent all this time wishing I could find love, and now I’ve attracted some psychopath that thinks he’s in love with me.”

She spoke again before Reid had a chance to feed her more statistics. “I just, I feel…guilty, I guess. I mean, this is because of me, right? This guy is hurting these women because he wants practice before he gets to me. If it wasn’t for me, these women would still be alive.”

“You don’t know that.” Reid was quick to blurt out his heart aching at this comment. Y/N seemed so lovely and sweet. 

He could admit he’d been a bit taken by her when she’d first walked into Hal’s office upstairs. She was an attractive woman, stunning really. He’d have to blind to ignore it.

He had to kind of wish he was meeting her under different circumstances, though he wasn’t entirely sure he’d have the confidence to approach her if he met her under normal circumstances. Still though having to meet her knowing she was the object of an unsubs obsession, it really really really sucked. Why couldn’t he just meet a pretty girl under normal circumstances?

This hadn’t been the direction he’d expected this case to turn at all. He’d come to this funeral home expected that they were just looking into a possible future target for their unsub. They hadn’t expected to find this case becoming all the more complicated. The second they’d been shown that necklace and those other pieces of jewelry…it had become clear that Y/N was more than just a possible future target…shew as the main target. She was the key to what had fueled their unsub. At least they had a motive for their unsub, but still…Reid kind of wished this was just a typical run of the mill serial murder case. If it was just another serial killer, then at least Y/N possibly wouldn’t be involved.

He didn’t like hearing her blame herself for any of this. It wasn’t her fault this was happening.

Reid spoke again wanting to badly to reassure her. “Most likely this unsub would have found someone else to obsess over. If it hadn’t been you he was obsessed with, then it’d be someone else. You can’t blame yourself for their actions. You have no control over what they’re doing…you’re the victim in this.”

She bit her bottom lip her stomach churning. She wasn’t sure she liked to think of herself as a victim.

She spoke again unable to stop herself from asking needing to attempt to change the subject somehow at least away from whether or not these murders were somehow her fault. “How’d you know those statistics off the top of your head…is that just like general education for federal agents?”

Reid shrugged his shoulders more than accustomed to explaining things like this. “Yes, it is part of the training I had at the FBI academy. Mostly though…I’m just good at remembering statistics. I have an eidetic memory…so if I read it, then I remember it…I also have an IQ of 187, and I can read 20,000 words per minute.”

Y/N widened her eyes taking in this information. That was unexpected. She shifted in place unable to stop herself from saying it. “I guess that explains the doctor thing…how old are you anyway?”

“Twenty six…I actually have three doctorates.” Reid explained relieved that the face mask he was wearing was preventing it from being obvious how pink his cheeks were growing.

Y/N raised an eyebrow at this information not helping but to joke. “Jeez, I’m twenty five and I don’t even have one doctorate.”

“You had to get an education to do this though.” Reid pointed out fast to shrug off any praise of his accomplishments. He usually enjoyed a little praise, but not when he felt like he was being compared to others his age.

“Touche.” Y/N remarked relieved that the mood had lightened a little bit at least.

She sighed as Reid spoke asking her a question she’d been asked at least a dozen times now. “May I ask what lead you to pursue this career?”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes already knowing just how the conversation was going to go. She’d done this song and dance at least a dozen times now. She knew just what the reaction would be.

She spoke up deciding to explain herself anyhow. “I feel that I’m doing a service to the dead…I mean…I know this guy.”

She paused nodding down at the deceased man on her table. “He’s not here anymore…his soul…if you believe in that kind of thing, it’s gone. This is just a shell…but I still am doing a service for him. I’m making sure his body is treated with respect. I’m making sure his final send off is treated with the upmost respect and decency. Funerals aren’t for the dead…we make all these demands in our wills knowing we aren’t going to even be present at our funerals…but we do it for those we leave behind. If anything I’m serving the living just as much as I’m serving the dead. I’m making sure that whoever is left behind gets to say a final goodbye to the person they loved…I like knowing that I can be involved in making that happen.”

She paused clearing her throat as she spoke again hoping that her next statement could at least stop some of the comments she was accustomed to hearing before they came. “Yes, my job can be depressing and heartbreaking…I’ve…I’ve had kids I’ve had to do this to. I’ve had people who are way too young to die that I’ve had to prep…but at the end of the day, I feel like it’s my purpose in life. Like I said, I feel like I’m serving the dead and the living. I’ve lost people before…I know how loss feels…I like knowing in a way I’m helping people with loss. I like knowing that I can help make that happen.”

She cringed expecting to hear the usual comments she got when she explained her reasons for doing this for a living. She knew the criticism would come, it always came…sometimes there were crude jokes as well. People didn’t understand. People thought she was creepy. Her job made people uncomfortable because they had to think about their own mortality.

She tried not to widen her eyes as Reid spoke saying the last thing she’d expected. “Oh, I never really thought about it that way…It’s kind of nice…not the dealing with the depressing part of it…I mean…it’s nice thinking about it like that, as a service to society. It’s nice to think that you’re helping people cope with loss.”

Y/N connected her eyes with Reid almost expecting to spot an expression that would tell her he was just taunting her, that he didn’t believe a word he just said.

She was stunned as she found nothing but sincerity written in his eyes.

She’d found herself smiling at the realization. He wasn’t judging her. He understood.

Y/N suddenly realized she could find herself liking Dr. Spencer Reid quite a bit.

Reid had wound up watching over Y/N for a week. One of his coworkers had brought over his go bag and Reid had slept on the sofa in Y/N’s apartment, Y/N ignoring her roommates amused glances. She’d also of course tried her best to ignore Ruby’s murmurs that Dr. Reid was pretty nice to look at and that he sure did spend a lot of time admiring Y/N when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Y/N had hushed Ruby of course, pointing that this was no time to drool over some guy, not when her life had been turned upside down like this.

Reid had continued to tag along with Y/N to work and Y/N was thankful to find that he had continued to remain undisturbed by her work.

In the time Reid had spent playing bodyguard, they’d managed to form a friendship of sorts. Reid had told Y/N more about his education and she’d told him of hers. They’d talked a little about their hometowns though both had shyed away from discussing their families, thankfully both of them seeming to realize it was a sensitive topic for the other.

They’d managed to talk a little bit about their interests discovering they shared some things in common; a sweet tooth, a love of Halloween, they both liked Indian food, they were both fans of Doctor Who. They both shared a worrying coffee addiction, though Y/N preferred iced coffee. Reid had entertained her with magic tricks and she’d showed him her somewhat silly talent for making origami.

They’d at least manged to build up a bond despite the stressful situation. It had gotten to the point where Reid had begun to insist that Y/N call him by his first name, an offer she’d taken.

There had been some attraction there of course. There had been plenty of sneaked looks of adoration from both Reid and Y/N when the other wasn’t looking. It was obvious to everyone looking on that there was a sense of attraction hanging over the pair. Reid had certainly gotten a good talking to from Hotch, the older man wanting to make sure Reid was still capable of keeping his mind on the case and not exclusively on Y/N. Reid had somehow managed to reassure his superior that he was perfectly capable of performing the job he’d been tasked with.

It was obvious that the attraction was still hanging over Y/N and Reid though…it was an attraction both knew they couldn’t act on…not right now.

In any other situation Reid and Y/N might have worked up the nerve to ask the other out on an actual date.

It didn’t exactly seem appropriate given the situation though. Reid had managed to maintain a sense of professionalism, and to be honest Y/N had been a bit too busy worrying about her current situation to want to pay too much attention to how adorable and not to mention handsome she found her bodyguard.

The call had changed everything, a phone call had come to Reid’s cell with an announcement that the BAU had caught the man responsible for this entire mess. They’d caught him as he was trying to abduct another girl.

As much of a relief as it had been knowing that this entire nightmare was finally over and no one else would be harmed, Y/N had to admit she was somewhat disappointed to know that this meant her time spent with Reid had come to an end.

Reid had surprised her sliding her a card as he’d gathered his things ready to leave. She’d stared down at the business card a small smile crossing her features as Reid had spoken giving her a somewhat shy smile. “I was thinking…maybe I could talk you into getting coffee sometime…like maybe Saturday, if you aren’t busy. I could maybe take you to dinner too, on a date?”

“I’d really like that.” Y/N had blurted out staring back down at the card in her hand Reid’s name printed in black ink along with both his office phone and his cell number.

She’d bid Reid a fond goodbye and had even managed to press a kiss to his cheek as they parted ways.

She’d watched Reid leave that day knowing that this was going to be the beginning of something wonderful, maybe even the beginning of her finally finding love. Maybe she’d finally found Mr. Right…or well Dr. Right in this scenario.

Life wasn’t that simple though.

It turned out that the man the BAU had taken in, the man they’d arrested…he was just a copycat. He might have been trying to abduct that poor girl when he’d been arrested, but he wasn’t the guy they were looking for…he was just looking for notoriety.

The unsub was still out there, and by the time the BAU realized it, it was too late.

Y/N had been locking up for the night gathering her things to leave and heading out to the parking lot when he’d come up behind her.

She hadn’t even seen him coming, she didn’t have a chance to even begin to fight him off. The only thing she’d felt was a horrifying sense that someone was right behind her, and then there had been a sharp pain to her neck as the needle had punctured her skin a drug being injected into her veins making her body feel heavy and her sight grow fuzzy. The world had gone black as she’d collapsed right into the arms of the unsub.

When Y/N had woken she’d been so dizzy she had almost felt as though the entire room was spinning.

She hurt, her head ached, her arms hurt, everything hurt.

The panic had hit her as she’d realized she was strapped down a bed with what looked to be those old fashioned medical restraints the ones with the buckles. Her hands were pulled up she attached to the iron headboard of the bed she was lying back on. Her ankles were restrained as well holding her completely immobile.

Her clothing had been changed she’d realized as she was now wearing a thin white cotton nightgown that barely reached her mid thigh, she felt sick as she realized it was the only thing she was wearing.

She studied the room she’d been held in confusion hitting her. She was in a basement, that much she could tell judging by the insulation in the ceiling above her. She could tell that this room must have been built on in some basement as the ceiling looked old but the walls seemed much newer, much cleaner than the ceiling…the rest of the room though, it looked as though someone had done some serious remodeling to make the space appear to be a bedroom. It looked almost homey filled with an antique bedroom set to match the iron bed she was currently strapped down to. The décor in the room was clearly all very feminine; paintings of flowers and butterflies on the walls, some soft pink rugs on the floors. There were roses sat out in a vase and make up and perfumes sat out on a vanity.

Someone had obviously put great care into decorating this room.

She felt herself shrink back as she heard movement behind the closed door the sound of latches being unlocked on the other side of the door.

When the door opened she’d felt sick to her stomach recognizing the man who entered the room.

Logan Thompson had been fired by Hal Abernathy about a year ago, Y/N would recognize the man anywhere though.

He still looked the same; shorter than the average male though only by a few inches, broad chested and strong, his dark hair holding that same buzz cut, his blue eyes still so icy and intense. She could still spot that tattoo on his arm; a demon inked into his skin the art inspired by those medieval paintings of demons and hell…that tattoo had always given her the creeps to be honest. She wasn’t religious…but still tattooing that imagery on your skin was quite the statement.

Hal had always made Logan cover the tattoo at work, but he’d insisted on showing it to Y/N once, as though he’d assumed she’d be impressed…she was not.

Logan had held an apprenticeship at Abernathy Family Funeral Home for a short time. Hal had fired him simply because Logan had been…strange. Hal had suspected drug use to be honest…Logan showed up when he wanted to and when he did show up he’d frankly made everyone around him uncomfortable. He was lazy and spent more time screwing around than he did actually trying to learn.

Hal had mentioned that he’d noticed Logan staring at Y/N a little too hard, something Y/N had noticed as well to be honest…she hadn’t put too much thought into it though. She’d figured Logan was harmless. He just seemed like a dumbass stoner who had only gotten into the business because he’d thought it’d give him some kind of street cred or make him seem more hardcore.

She was accustomed to encountering those types when she’d attended mortuary school…people like Logan never lasted long in school…they realized that their crap wouldn’t fly and that becoming a licensed mortician was harder than it looked.

She’d been shocked that Logan had somehow made it through school and was in the process of trying to do an apprenticeship so he could get licensed when Hal had brought him in.

Y/N had tried not to question it though, she’d only had her own license for a couple of years at that point and had decided it was best not to question Hal’s business decisions.

She hadn’t really thought about Logan at all since he’d been fired, but now here he was smiling down at her looking so pleased that she was here. He had abducted her? He’d abducted and killed all those women?

He finally spoke as he entered the room sitting down in a chair beside the bed that sickly sweet smile still on his lips. “Good, you’re awake.”

Y/N said nothing unconsciously sinking back in the bed wanting to pull her body from him somehow though the restraints made it nearly impossible for her to move too far away. She felt herself shrink back all the more as Logan reached out brushing her hair back as he spoke. “Sorry, I had to change your clothing. It got all dirty when you passed out…I’ve got new clothes for you though.”

Y/N felt the words leave her panic rising in her. “Why are you doing this?”

Logan tilted his head to the side looking utterly confused as though he hadn’t drugged her kidnapped her and strapped her down to a bed in some basement somewhere. “I’m doing it because I love you.”

Y/N felt the words leave her lips she automatically regretting them as she spotted the rage in his eyes. “You don’t even know me.”

She cried out as the back of his hand met her face he slapping her hard his voice harsh. “I know you. I know more about you than anyone. I’ve learned so much about you…I watched you for so long. I knew you loved me, you told me by the way you looked at me pretty soon after I started working for Hal…I knew it then, one look that’s all it took for me to know you were mine. Hal, he fired me though…he wanted to keep us apart. He didn’t want us to be together. I almost killed him, but I thought that might make you sad. You’re so tenderhearted and you love him so much…he’s like your dad. So, I decided I had to come up with another way. I had to find a way to get you alone, so it could just be us, together finally.”

He spoke again his voice not softening as he stared down at her his eyes narrowing “I watched you for so long…I said hi to you, you know, a couple of weeks ago…that day at the coffee shop I said hello and you said hi back, but that was it…You didn’t even stop to talk to me…I was pretty pissed off…but I knew you were just playing hard to get. I’ve kept an eye on you since Hal fired me. I learned more and more about you, and fell more and more in love with you…I know you felt it too. You had to feel it, how could you not? You had to be able to feel what was building between us, you could sense it, I know you could.”

Y/N felt the tears begin to fall as she took his words in, he was insane. He was obsessed it was just like Reid had said. He was convinced she loved him.

Logan spoke again leaning forward in the chair his jaw tightening. “I even watched you this past week…I saw that man was sleeping at your house…he was a Fed wasn’t he? He was here to look into…the things I’ve had to do. I saw how he looked at you…how you looked at him.”

She cringed as he continued to glare down at her his words cruel. “I saw how you smiled at him…he performed those stupid card tricks for you and you just smiled up at him like some kind of slut. I saw you hug him when he left…you kissed his cheek… I have to wonder though, did you fuck him even once during all that time he spent with you?”

She continued to allow the tears to leave her she feeling sick. What was he even ranting about, nothing inappropriate had happened with Reid…Logan was acting as though she’d cheated on him…Logan and she weren’t even in a relationship…but a cruel voice in the back of her head reminded her that Logan was delusional, he believed they were in a relationship. Seeing her interact with Reid had pissed Logan off. He’d seen it as her cheating on him.

Oh God, had he hurt Reid? Did he have plans to hurt him? Had he hurt anyone else in her life? Hal, Ruby, anyone else? He was going to hurt her, wasn’t he?

Logan was going to kill her. He was going to kill her eventually wasn’t he? He’d killed all those other girls within a few days. How long would it be before he killed her? This was what he was working up to wasn’t he, her? Hotch had said he was practicing on all those girls, working up to Y/N.

Logan took her tears as his answer he going back to stroking her hair his voice going back to that sickly sweet tone. “It’s okay if you did sleep with him…We can forget it…we can just move on with our lives and it can be a bad memory. I can understand…I haven’t been faithful either Princess. I know you know about all those other girls. I had to practice though…had to test this room before it was ready for you. I may have touched them…I wasn’t faithful to you…I’m sorry.”

She continued to cry remembering the rest of what Agent Hotchner had said, about what the unsub had done to those girls, what Logan had done to them. He was going to do all of that to her now, wasn’t he?

Logan continued to stroke her hair his touch making her skin crawl as he spoke again his voice still so sugary, as though he was trying to calm a fussy child. “I said I’m sorry, okay, don’t cry. I didn’t even like those girls…they looked like you, but they weren’t you. Like I said, I had to test this room out…test the drugs. I had to get my dosages right…had to make sure this bed was comfortable. It’s just a bad memory now. I promise I won’t stray from you again. I love you.”

She began to hyperventilate as he pressed a kiss to her forehead the kiss making her skin crawl all the more as he spoke. “I love you, and now you’re finally here. We can finally be together in all the ways I’ve dreamed of. We’re going to have so much fun together.”

Y/N wasn’t sure how long she’d remained there in the basement. It felt as though hours felt like days and days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months. It was so hard to keep track of the time of day. There were no clocks in the room, nothing to give her any indication of how much time had passed.

She could admit that thoughts of one person kept her sane; Dr. Spencer Reid. Reid and the rest of the team had to have realized she was missing. Her car was still at the funeral home. Hal had to have noticed she was missing. He would call Detective Jenkins and Detective Jenkins would contact someone at the BAU. Reid would find out she was missing.

Reid would find her, she told herself. Reid was brilliant, an IQ of 187. With an IQ that high he could do anything. Reid was smart enough to figure out what had happened to her…the FBI would track her down.

Hal would remember Logan Thompson. He would remember him and he’d bring it up with the BAU. They would track her down…figure out where she’d been taken. Reid would come for her and take her away from this.

She just had to stay alive in the meantime. She had to stay as sharp as possible. She had to do whatever it took to live.

She had to live, Reid owed her a coffee date. She knew it was a ridiculous thing to cling to; coffee with Reid…but she clung to it. She’d clung to him. She wasn’t going to die, because she had to go on that coffee date with Spencer Reid. She had finally found someone so sweet who didn’t judge her career…she’d finally possibly found Mr. Right. She wasn’t going to die before she got to know what it felt like to date Reid.

Trying to stay sharp was easier said than done.

Logan had continued to inject her with something, he kept giving her some kind of drug that made her so drowsy and so weak. Maybe it was an opioid, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that it made her sleep a lot.

Logan brought her food feeding her himself, until she’d managed to convince him to unfasten her hands at least. He’d seemed hesitant to do it at first, worried she’d escape.

Y/N had quickly realized that the key to survival in this situation would be to play Logan’s game…if he wanted to believe they were together, then she’d play along.

She’d stared up at him trying to pretend that just gazing upon him didn’t make her sick as she’d spoken. “Please, you can just unfasten my arms…they hurt so much, please…it can just be while I eat. I promise I won’t run.”

She’d paused seeing that he was considering it, his eyes staring at the restraints. She’d spoken again pretending the words didn’t make her want to vomit. “I wouldn’t leave…I love you, remember.”

That had been enough for him. He’d given her a pleased grin unfastening her arms. She’d been tempted to strike at him, to fight. She knew it wouldn’t be smart though…even if she managed to hit him, her legs were still restrained…and she’d spotted the knife stuck in a holster on his hip. He’d kill her before she could fight back.

So she’d decided to bide her time. He’d unfasten her long enough for her to eat and then it was right back to the restraints. He’d lowered them at least, allowing her arms to feel as though they were in a more comfortable position.

She had thought her situation couldn’t get in worse, but of course it did. Logan had told her it was time to take their relationship to the next step. She’d felt sick realizing what this most likely meant.

She’d wanted to scream, she’d wanted to fight, to spit at him, to kick and scratch him when he told her. She wanted to beg him to leave her alone, please this couldn’t happen. She’d only kissed before. Please it wasn’t meant to happen like this.

She’d felt the words die in her throat remembering the knife he carried. She had to stay alive, she refused to die like this.

He’d started with kissing her. She couldn’t force herself to kiss him back. She’d quickly realized he didn’t care if she kissed back. He was so blind in his delusion that he couldn’t be bothered that she just laid there motionless and let him kiss her.

He had touched her body her skin crawling the entire time. She’d allowed herself to go some place else in her head when this happened. She knew she was disassociating, removing her mind from this situation, protecting her mind. She was allowing herself to detach from her reality.

She’d felt sick as he’d touched her shoving his fingers inside of her a pleased grin crossing his features as he found the sign she’d never gone this far with anyone before.

She’d wanted to puke as he’d spoken that pleased grin still on his face. “I didn’t expect this. I’m surprised, but pleased. I’m going to take my time with you Princess. I knew you were the one…you were just waiting for me weren’t you.”

Somehow he’d spared her from pushing it further than that, once he found out she was so inexperienced.

He didn’t touch her for days after that experience. The fear hadn’t left her though…it was as though he was drawing it out…drawing out the inevitable to torture her. It almost felt as though he was enjoying watching her squirm…watching her dread what he had planned for her.

Y/N could admit, she’d begun to hope he’d kill her before it ever got to what he was planning. She’d rather die than have him be her first.

She made the promise to herself that if he did kill her, she wouldn’t show him any fear. She would stare into his eyes as he killed her. She promised herself she’d tell him that with her dying words that she never could love him. She would tell Logan that he made her sick. She would tell him about Reid…she would tell him about the date Reid and she had planned. She would tell Logan how much she’d liked Reid. She would make sure she died with Logan Thompson knowing she never could possibly love him.

The crash had woken her, Logan had drugged her earlier in the day and she’d welcomed the drugs for once. It was an escape, the drug induced sleep was the only escape she had.

Her brain felt fuzzy as she heard the commotion taking place on the floor directly above her. A voice in the back of her head told her to call out, to see if she could attract attention.

She was unable to form words though, her body feeling so heavy. Her tongue felt so heavy in her mouth.

She continued to listen to the noise too weak to do a thing about it. She barely could lift her head as the door to her room crashed open she almost expecting it to be Logan.

She frowned confusion washing over her when she spotted him; was this real? Was she dreaming? Had she maybe died in her sleep and this was heaven?

The word left her lips her voice a slur. “Spencer.”

Reid rushed to her side fast to move unfastening the restraints that held her in place. He spoke turning to call out over his shoulder. “She’s down here! I found her!”

She barely managed to reach up her hand placing against his cheek the movement difficult her limbs so heavy feeling. The words left her she feeling dumb and slow her mind needing to reestablish that he really was here. “Spencer?”

“I’m here. I have you okay, it’s okay.” Reid reassured her she keeping her hand pressed to his face.

She furrowed her brow the panic swirling within her. “Logan Thompson?”

Reid nodded his head frantically his hand placing over hers as he reassured her. “He’s sitting in the back of a police cruiser right now. We’ve got him. It’s okay.”

Y/N felt the tears leave her relief washing over her. The fear she’d been living under for who knows how long lifting in an instant. She managed to speak so many questions spilling from her. “How long?”

“Two weeks. We’ve been looking for two weeks. We thought we might not find you alive…I was afraid I’d never see you again.” Reid answered she nodding her head amazed Logan hadn’t killed her. He’d kept her alive for so long.

She spoke panic hitting her, as she spotted the EMS entering the room supplies in hand Reid beginning to pull from her. “Please don’t leave me Spencer. Don’t leave me alone please.”

Reid gave her hand a squeeze reassuring her. “I won’t, I promise I won’t leave you alone.”

He’d kept that promise. He’d parked himself by her side as she remained in the hospital for observation. He stayed by her side soothing her as she recovered in the hospital unable to sleep without nightmares plaguing her.

When she was in the hospital the subject of her family had come up. She wasn’t surprised by it. She’d heard the hushed conversations between Reid and at least one of his team members a muscular man who’d been introduced as Derek Morgan.

She could remember the words they’d been trying to hide from her Morgan speaking his voice tinged with concern. “Doesn’t she have anyone she can call, any family? I mean, you haven’t left her side for a second. Are you sure about this kid? You’re getting real close to her…she’s in a fragile state and I get that you’ve got a soft heart, not wanting to leave her alone right now because she’s asked for you. She’s a victim though, she’s traumatized.”

“It’s not like that.” Reid had argued back his shoulders tense he apparently not liking the conversation.

Morgan hadn’t backed down shaking his head as he tried to reason with the younger man. “Come on Reid, we’ve studied this type of behavior. It’s a classic case of Transference. She sees you as her hero and she’s transferred feelings of love onto you. She’s coping by attaching herself to you like this. I get that you’ve got a big heart, but you’ve got to know it’s not healthy for you to play her security blanket.”

Reid had lost his temper a bit at this he raising his voice just slightly. “That’s not what’s happening. I had a date with her before all of this happened. We liked each other before all of this. I was going to take her on a date. This isn’t just her clinging to me…I’d appreciate it if you kept your opinions of what this is to yourself from now on.”

Y/N had pretended that she hadn’t heard any part of this conversation.

The subject of her family had finally been brought up this time by another one of Reid’s coworkers she getting the feeling that Morgan was staying clear after his lack of success with Reid.

She’d spoken to the blonde woman who had introduced herself as JJ. “I don’t have anyone…my parents died when I was a kid…my great aunt raised me and she’s dead too. I-I don’t have anyone to call. All I have is Hal, but I can’t burden him with this. I saw his face the last time he visited…he blames himself. He was the one who hired Logan Thompson to begin with. I can’t ask Hal for anything.”

Reid had spoken ignoring the looks of concern from JJ. “You have me Y/N, I’m here.”

When she’d been released from the hospital Reid had parked himself on her couch sleeping there. He’d continued the routine they’d built at the hospital, he soothing her, helping her when she woke up screaming.

He had taken everyone by shock by taking some time off of work, he had plenty of paid vacation time built up after all. He’d ignored the concerned looks of his coworkers when he’d requested time off.

They’d all tried to broach their concerns about the relationship Reid was building with Y/N, but he’d ignored their concerns.

Her roommate had tried to help as well of course, but she wasn’t capable of soothing her the way Reid did.

He’d opened up to her, told her about what had happened to him on that case in Georgia. How he’d been kidnapped and drugged by Tobias Hankel. He even told her about the drug addiction he’d developed as a result of his experience…how he was now in recovery. He was almost six months sober now.

The story had worked tears from her she opening up to him. “I sometimes crave the oxy Logan Thompson was injecting me with…it was the only escape I had in that basement.”

Reid had only squeezed her tight in response. His words stern. “You can’t go there Y/N. You can’t let yourself have that. I know you think it was an escape, but it’s a lie. Nothing good can come from it. Promise me you won’t go there.”

She’d agreed, swearing to him that she wouldn’t give into the craving.

She’d lost count of the nights they’d spent together with him holding her, the hours they’d spent sitting up in her bed. They would at times stay up until the early hours of the morning Reid doing all he could to soothe her.

A week into being home Reid had helped Y/N find a therapist, a good one. It had helped a little bit. It would take time, he kept reassuring her. One day she’d learn to feel safe again.

She’d gotten better as the days went by.

After almost an entire month it had become clear that Reid would need to return to his own life. He couldn’t live on her sofa forever.

Y/N had taken him by shock she being the one who’d pointed the obvious out as they sat on her sofa drinking coffee. “You have a life Spencer. It’s selfish of me to keep you here.”

“I want to help you.” Reid had insisted trying to ignore what he knew deep down inside that she was right.

She’d wrapped her arms around his waist reassuring him. “You can keep helping me, but you need to get back to work. Back to your place too probably.”

Reid felt his throat grow tight the words leaving him he finally admitting what he’d been holding in since the moment he’d realized she’d been abducted. “I should have been there to stop it you know, I should have known we got the wrong guy. Something didn’t seem right, but I ignored my gut. I should have listened. I could have stopped this from happening if I’d listened.”

“You can’t predict the future…even with that big genius brain of yours. You can’t blame yourself. Shit happens sometimes.” Y/N had remarked her throat tight a bitter laugh leaving her at the last part of her statement she’d realized humor was the best way to protect herself from feeling the pain.

Reid had frowned wanting to argue with her, wanting to show her that he should take care of her. That he needed to because he’d failed to protect her that first time.

He spoke his grip on her tightening. “You promise you’ll call me, if you need anything, anything at all. I don’t care what time it is or what I’m doing. You promise you’ll call me if you need me?”

“I promise.” Y/N had reassured him.

Of course she had called him. There had been so many calls in the weeks since he’d left her place. The nightmares still plagued her. Reid always answered the call, he was always there when she needed him.

He’d been surprised when she’d called him one night early in the evening her voice soft. “I was thinking about ordering takeout. Do you think you’re up for it.”

It had been a shock for him, she was calling not because she was upset, but because she wanted to see him.

She spoke again fearing the worst by his silence. “I just, I thought it’d be nice to hang out with your for once when I wasn’t in the middle of a crisis.”

Reid had spoken quickly snapping out of his shock reassuring her. “I’ll be there soon.”

That’s how they’d found themselves sitting on her sofa take out containers open in front of them the movie Ghostbusters on the television. Y/N had been shocked that Reid hadn’t seen it. She’d quickly realized Reid might be a genuis but he was a pop culture idiot.

She’d told him that he would like the movie, and she’d been right. Reid had found himself watching her as the night drug on his heart doing that strange clinching thing it always seemed to do when it came to her.

He’d thought that perhaps it was just his guilty conscience blaming himself that she’d been abducted, that maybe he was just feeling protective.

He’d realized though that his heart seemed to do that funny thing long before she’d been abudcted. It had done it from the second he’d met her.

He’d liked her when they’d met, that like had only strengthened in this past month. She was so strong, she’d survived so much. He adored her knowing how strong she’d been, how strong she was still being.

He’d felt his heart clinch all the more as she’d found herself leaning against him her head resting against his shoulder his arm wrapped around her waist.

It wasn’t the first time they’d found themselves in this position. He’d comforted her this way at least a dozen times.

Reid couldn’t explain what had happened next. All he knew was that she’d stared up at him and he’d stared down at her their faces moving closer and closer together.

The next thing he knew his lips were pressed to hers his hands pressed to her cheeks her arms wrapped around him as she returned his kisses with enthusaism.

As the lust lifted form Reid’s brain shame had hit him.

He’d pulled from the kiss his voice frantic fearing he’d made a mess he turned his eyes from her staring straight ahead. “I am so sorry. That was so out of line for me. You’re vulnerable right now, and I am taking advantage of how you’re feeling right now. I don’t want it to be like this. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. Please forgive me.”

He’d felt his heart sink as Y/N had spoken. “I don’t want to forgive you Spencer.”

Reid had felt his heart break thinking he’d really screwed this all up.

She spoke again explaining herself. “There’s nothing for me to forgive. I don’t know if you noticed, but I did kiss you back.”

Reid furrowed his brow staring down at her the words spilling from him. “You’re vulnerable right now, you’ve been through a lot. I, I’ve been a support system for you. I shouldn’t kiss you when you’re recovering.”

Y/N had let out a huff at this rolling her eyes annoyance washing over her. “I’m not some delicate little flower that’s going to crumble Spencer. I have been through a hell of a lot…but I’m perfectly capable of making decisions for myself.”

She’d spoken again when she still spotted the hesitance in his eyes. “Did you or did you not ask me out before this whole nightmare took off?”

Reid furrowed his brow wanting to keep pointing out that this was a bad idea. She spoke again not giving him the chance. “Because I remember you asking me out and me enthusiastically saying yes. If I’d never been abducted then I can guarantee you that you and I would have gone out on more than one date by now.”

Reid nodded his head a sigh leaving him, she had a point. “I know, we would have.”

Y/N spoke placing a hand against his cheek as she spoke needing to say the words. “I’m probably going to be pretty screwed up for a long time Spencer. I don’t want it to stop me from having something wonderful with you though. I waited so long to find someone…Logan Thompson tried to take so much from me…He took my sense of safety and my ability to sleep through the night. He took pleasant dreams from me…he took my ability to trust most people…I don’t want him to take what I was building with you. I can’t let him take that.”

She spoke again Reid leaning into her touch as he took in her words. “Can we just try…I’m not saying we have to move fast. I just, I want to try. I don’t want him to take happiness from us.”

Reid had answered her with a kiss the kiss chaste but reassuring that he agreed with her. He spoke his voice soft. “I don’t want him to take our happiness.”

Y/N felt the tears leave her relief hitting her. She knew what laid ahead of them was going to rough. She knew that as long as she had Spencer Reid she would be okay though.

He really was her Dr. Right.


End file.
